Hello everyone. Today, I will be talking about several details regarding anxiety and perfectly hidden depression. I know most of us have heard many stories regarding these issues, and unfortunately, most of us are dealing with these issues in real life.
An estimated 284 million people worldwide are experiencing mental distress and only 36.9% of those suffering receive treatment for it. The 5 most common mental health disorders include depression, anxiety, eating disorders, substance abuse, and attention deficit disorder (ADHD).
Now, let’s not divulge into the scientific side of mental health issues. I am posting this simply for two main reasons.
Firstly, I want to show my appreciation towards every single person who has openly talked about their personal mental health issues, and dealt with it.
Secondly, because it’s high time we start paying attention to these issues and start working on them individually.
Before I start off with the important pointers, I would also like to mention that I personally am going through anxiety, depression, and compulsive binge eating disorder. I am not seeking any medical help but dealing with them myself.
This is not a cry for help, sympathy, pity, or attention. Support is welcomed. Checking up on me would be great. Just like I post positive posts, I would also like to expose the well-hidden side of my reality to the world.
It’s commonly known that we are two different people, one in real life and the other on social media, just like two sides of a coin.
One side that we choose to show the outsiders on social media and the second side that we are actually living and surviving every day. I like to believe that we are stronger than our problems and fully capable of overcoming the difficulties.
Starting off with certain characteristics of mental health issues. I’d also like to give my honest opinion and my personal experiences for every pointer.
1. You are a Perfectionist and Have a Constant/Critical Inner Voice
This is something that I deal with everyday. Nothing is ever enough for us. Imperfection is a threat. Failure is fear.
We don’t give up easily because we can’t disappoint our own high and unreasonable expectations. My friends know the best.
They know how much pressure I used to put on myself to be the best at every task I was given. Even when there isn’t a competition, we make our lives a competition and we give it our all to come out as a winner.
We hate coming second and we hate getting compared to anyone better. Our subconscious mind doesn’t let us chill.
At work, while everyone gave their 100%, I gave my 200%. It took a toll on me and my health, overdoing your work wouldn’t make any difference.
Putting extra effort wouldn’t impress anyone. It’ll just waste your energy and time. Work smart, don’t just work hard. I often ignored my victories because I was too busy worrying about winning another battle.
Even if my friends re-assured me every time that I was doing my best, my mind yelled at me to do better. End this suffering, end this chaos in your mind. Stop proving to everyone that you are perfect.
We all make mistakes, we all have flaws. Learn your lessons from your failures and move on.
2. You Demonstrate a Heightened or Excessive Sense of Responsibility
Even when it’s not required, you tend to take responsibility for dealing with everyone’s problems.
Just because you want to ignore your problems, you help other people so that they don’t feel alone like you do. You feel that you are responsible for everyone’s happiness, but what about your own?
Nothing to boast about, but being quite mature for my age, I’ve helped so many people dealing with mental issues by listening to them and always being there for them.
Because I knew I couldn’t help myself, instead I helped the world. Stop being a helping hand if you are doing it as a distraction or a break from your own life.
Do show support but also ask for it. Do help people to get better but do not ignore your own mental health. You cannot fake happiness for too long, one day it will tire you out and you might just give up.
Don’t let the light in you dim. You can’t take the weight of everyone’s problems on your shoulders, it’s not your battle to win.
Help them but don’t fight on behalf of them, let them do the deed and let them come out stronger than ever.
3. You Detach from Painful Emotions by Staying in Your Head
Let the pain in, do not numb yourself. Humans need to feel to stay alive, shutting your feelings out is only going to bring you down.
Feeling is like breathing. People who wonder why I don’t stay active on social media long enough to stay and chat, it’s because I’d rather shut everyone out and not feel a thing than stay online, talk to people, feel emotions evoked in me.
It’s the worst thing to do to yourself and I strongly recommend you to make friends, fall in love, fight with your enemies, cry, laugh, get angry, and feel.
Don’t turn stone cold. Feel and see how it makes a difference.
4. You Worry And Need To Control Your Environment
So, speaking from personal experience, I have lost many people in my life because I tried controlling how the situation around us worked.
I tried to control their life and wanted things to work my way, but people don’t work your way, do they?
Everyone makes their own choices and you cannot let the worry settle in because you don’t agree with how they work or how things around you are. I get so controlling sometimes, if I’ve kept my belongings somewhere and a person moves it to another place, I lose it.
Stop trying to be dominant in every aspect of life. It gets tiresome and lonely.
Let someone else take control and see how freeing it feels to not be in those shoes.
5. You Intensely Focus On Tasks And Use Your Accomplishment To Feel Valuable
Now, I don’t want you to think that your accomplishments mean nothing. You should be proud of yourself. But don’t just let those victories define you, you are more than that.
You’re valuable even if you fail. You’re valuable even if you are not good at everything. You’re valuable no matter what.
Respect your well-being and give yourself some credit.
Don’t develop a dependency on such toxic elements of life.
6. You Focus On The Well-Being Of Others, But Don’t Allow Them Into Your Inner World
Now, this is important to understand. This has happened to me so many times.
My friend’s sorrow became my own, their sadness became my mode of stress. I used to worry about their problems and spend hours trying to make them feel better, forgetting my meals and work.
I let their lives become more important than mine.
Do not let their problems create any huge impact on your life.
This pointer has another side to it too, it means you have solutions to everyone’s problems but you never talk about yours. You don’t share your circumstances with them and expect them to do all the talking.
It is going to hamper your mental health more. they will become better but you will stay where you are.
Let them in, show them your emotional side, see if they are worthy enough of your friendship and love, see if they are strong enough to stay through thick and thin.
Give them a chance.
Don’t just listen, learn to talk. Let it be give, and take sometimes.
7. You Discount/Dismiss Hurt Or Sorrow, Then Struggle With Self-Compassion
So, one of the hardest parts of being an introvert and dealing with mental health issues is that when you go into your dark place, no one knows.
I don’t think people realize how much strength it takes to pull yourself out of a dark place mentally. People like me, our anxiety is silent.
You wouldn’t even notice a change on the outside but we are honestly so stressed we can’t manage simple tasks and run out of words to ask for help.
We preach about self-love but lack it the most in reality.
We get overwhelmed easily and need space to recover. Being mentally ill is disheartening, I can go through traumatic shit and maintain a poker face but then have a mental breakdown over losing a pen.
Love yourself, let others love you. you owe yourself the love that you so freely give to other people.
Don’t try to escape your darkness, learn to love yourself in that phase. Let people see the real, imperfect, flawed, quirky, weird, beautiful, and magical person that you are. Don’t doubt your worth.
8. Focus On Your Accompanying Mental Health Issues
These include things like addiction, obsessive-compulsive disorder, or in my case compulsive eating disorder.
This part of my life is difficult to talk about because it will reveal several issues that I have been hiding about myself. So many of you follow me and watch what I post on Instagram.
MOST POSTS ARE OF FOOD.
So many of you have made assumptions about me and so many of you have even mentioned things like:
- you must be rich to get all that expensive food
- you are a foodie so you love to eat and show off your appetite
- you post about food because you want to be a food blogger
- so many food bloggers follow you and you must get free food from many places
- you don’t get fat and have fast metabolism so you can eat uncontrollably
Here goes nothing.
I’ll tell you the reality of my life. I have a compulsive eating disorder. I do love to eat, I enjoy trying new cuisines and recipes, but it is also a drawback for me, a type of escape.
I overeat when I’m stressed. And the number of posts that I have put on food must give you a general idea of how stressed I get almost every other day. I eat when I’m nervous, angry, or in a mood to cry.
I stuff my mouth with junk food, calling it binge eating when in reality, it is an escape from my mental stress. I started overeating a few years back, and to such a level that I would end up puking and face major stomach aches.
At first, everyone thought my appetite must have increased, but later on, they realized how harmful it is for me physically. I gained about 25 – 35 pounds in the last 2 years of my life because of my eating habits.
Junk all the time, day and night, killed my metabolism.
I posted more selfies and hardly any full body images because I have a tummy pooch and a lot of extra fat near my thigh area. I have a double chin.
None of this makes me ugly, but it makes me insecure about my body.
I stopped wearing short clothes and wear oversized clothes to hide my size. The rare pics that I post on social media of my body are mainly taken from a decent angle, or when I have tucked my stomach in by breathing hard.
I was living a lie.
Telling myself that I can fool people online by posting selfies and avoiding full-body images to look normal. I avoided meeting anyone that is friends with me online because of my weight.
These extra pounds can be hidden from social media, but not from the mirror. Because of a sudden change in my body, I started facing hormonal imbalance.
I skipped my periods and I started getting severe acne on my face. When I visited a doc, they told me I am on the verge of Thyroid issues.
That was an endgame for me, reality check i needed the most.
I recently started focusing on my diet because I’ve had enough. You cannot take your body for granted. Watch what you eat and watch how you treat yourself. I lost around 5 pounds in the last month without doing much, and I am planning to lose more than 25 pounds in the future.
So, to anyone not focusing on your health, mental and physical, start with it.
Don’t wait for your body to give up on you, start right now.
Bring change. Don’t avoid what you are going through, seek medical help if necessary.
9. You Believe Strongly In ‘Counting Your Blessings’ As The Foundation Of Well-Being
It is perfectly fine to focus on what you have and trying to feel satisfied with it.
But always strive for more.
Don’t just stop and stay stuck, try achieving the best in life. Don’t ignore your problems because you’d rather focus on your blessings than confront your problems. Try solving them.
10. You May Enjoy Success With A Professional Structure But Struggle With Relationships
During my past relationships, I used to be so closed off about my problems. I lost people but I didn’t lose my habit of being too private.
I know you cannot open up completely and some problems can’t be discussed openly, but if you need any kind of support or positivity in life, you need to find emotional support in a person.
I’ve had boyfriends cheating on me because I had my walls up, both emotionally and physically. I know cheating is not the way out but somewhere down the line, I contributed to it unintentionally.
I don’t blame myself for their disloyal behavior, but I do blame myself for not putting my faith into a person. Even if they fail you, have the courage to trust.
I am not saying trust blindly, but do give a chance to the people who are deserving of it before you lose them. You have no idea how many people are waiting to bring happiness in your life.
Surprise yourself by surprising them. Even if you can’t explain why you are so sad or lonely, give them hints that you need them and they are important to you.
Just a few more things I would like to speak about before I end this blog. Real depression is when you stop loving the things and people that you love. It is being in a room full of people and still feeling alone.
It’s having a sensory overload where you just want everything to be quiet and when it’s not, you just get really agitated, and people’s voices just start driving you crazy. I can give you many examples, but I’ll take this chance to say:
You are going to be okay. breathe and remember that you have been in this place before and that you can keep doing this until the problems break down but you don’t.
Healing doesn’t mean the damage never existed, it means the damage no longer controls our lives. Healing isn’t taking the fast lane down the highway.
It is taking back roads with potholes and dead ends. But you will get there, you will.
Go to your room, lay on the bed, listen to music, close your eyes, breathe, put your hand on your heart, feel your heart beating, let all your day sink into your bed, listen to your favorite songs with or without tears in your eyes.
Only thoughts in your mind should be, don’t cut, don’t drug, don’t do anything. What happened, happened. Just breathe, let it all go. Just for now, let it all go.
Your hand, don’t put it down. That thumping is called purpose. You are living for some reason.
Don’t think about ending or worsening it. You will be okay. You will get through this. I believe in you. All broken people believe in you. Don’t give up.
Wear your armor.
Whether it’s makeup, a band t-shirt, your fandom pics, tattoos, jewelry, your favorite ripped pair of jeans, or something no one else can touch or see like your favorite song repeating like a mantra in your head, the sound of your own heartbeat…
…or the knowledge that you were brave enough to get out of bed today when everything inside you screamed
Wear your armor and kick ass.
Things take time. Be happy with what you have and be excited about what you want. What’s coming is better than what’s gone. This is the beginning of loving yourself.
Welcome home, Lovely.